The Listening Machine is an automated system that generates a continuous piece of music based on the activity of 500 Twitter users around the United Kingdom. Their conversations, thoughts and feelings are translated into musical patterns in real time, which you can tune in to at any point through any web-connected device.
A friend asked me to name five people to follow Twitter. That turned out to be harder than expected because of the staggering amount of awesome people on Twitter. (Which means that if you weren’t included on this list it doesn’t mean you’re not cool.)
These five are all somebody I’ve been following for years and who have consistently given me ideas, inspiration and laughs. Go follow them.
MaryHChrist Mary Holy-Christ
In the middle east. Pregnant. On a donkey. FML
24 Dec
madsbrynnum mads brynnum
Udtrykket “at plante sin sæd” er ækelt nok i forvejen, men det er som om Amagermanden lige tog den et skridt videre.
20 Dec
tveskov Bjarne P Tveskov
“Give a man a fish, and you’ve fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you can sell him a ton of accessories.” ukendt oprindelse
20 Dec
Kahrzdn Carsten Jørgensen
Man skal ikke kaste med sæd, når ens far bor i et arresthus.
20 Dec
mikebodge Mike Bodge
Yo sorry im late on this because I’m away, but did Lil Kim die in Korea?!?!?
19 Dec
sween Jason Sweeney
Me: “I wish I was a cat.” My cat: “Believe me, you’re not a cat.” Me: “Then why can I understand you?” My cat: “Mrow?”
19 Dec
macleanbrendan Brendan Maclean
We did it Twitter. We made every Kim Jong-Il joke there was to make. I’m sure North Korea will appreciate it once they get the Internet.
19 Dec
fiskeben Ricco Førgaard
Hvis du fik barn i lørdags så husk på, at barnet KAN være en reinkarnation af Kim Jong-Il.
19 Dec
gaberivera Gabe Rivera
If anyone has a copy of Kim Jong-il narrating “The Crazy Ones”, now would be an excellent time to reveal it.
19 Dec
morgenthaler Jeppe Morgenthaler
Gad vide om Clement nogensinde har hørt et andet menneske sige en hel sætning
18 Dec
Fjelsted Anders Fjelsted
Har altid ment, at hvis Boston Celtics eller LA Lakers trænede håndbold i et år, ville de storsmadre alle. #basketerfedereendhåndbold
17 Dec
beep Ethan Marcotte
Zynga had a $1B IPO today? If you’ll excuse me, I need to procure a mule, some pots, and schematics for a mud hut.
17 Dec
appoulsen Asbjørn Poulsen
Mit barn skal ikke gå i en vuggestue, der har en hotmail-adresse. Punktum.
16 Dec
Cennydd Cennydd Bowles
Already neglecting Path; it just doesn’t fulfil a useful need in my life. Shame. Proposition trumps design.
16 Dec
RabidBob Nathaniel Woody
@gruber @danbenjamin I’m upset at John eating on microphone. It’s too quiet. He should like louder foods to eat like celery or live geese.
16 Dec
SteveMartinToGo Steve Martin
I’ll be on @JoyVBehar tonight. Don’t tell my trusting wife.
15 Dec
marks Mark Jensen
@guan Har du et API? Jeg gider ikke bruge Google mere når du er bedre.
15 Dec
davepell Dave Pell
My 3 year-old daughter: “Santa knows if you’re naughty or nice. But on hanukkah you get presents even if you’re naughty.”
12 Dec
Elnif Didde Elnif
Dette blev weekenden, hvor jeg opdagede at nogle svenskere har svært ved at skelne mellem ordene røvfuld og rovfugl
12 Dec
KaseyAnderson Kasey Anderson
You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I’m telling you why: you’re 11 years old and you have an iPhone, you little shit.
12 Dec
biorhythmist matt
Check out this app that takes our OKCupid profile pics and shows us what our kids would look like wait our food’s not even here yet
11 Dec
louisck Louis C.K.
Louis C.K. Live at the Beacon theater goes up in one hour louisck.com $5 paypal. You don’t have to join paypal.
10 Dec
danbenjamin Dan Benjamin
They boy (4): it’s just like summertime today, only cold!
10 Dec
LouiseKampmann Louise Kampmann
Til den ultimative hipster 9gag.com/gag/963718?ref…
9 Dec
Aspersioncast AspersionCast
I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all Luftballons.
9 Dec
nielsfez Niels Pedersen
Årets Døde Soulsangere 2011 - min personlige (og lidt morbide) playliste fuld af sjæl, kærlighed og fantastiske sange open.spotify.com/user/113177109…
9 Dec
mariaklinke Maria Klinke
Jeg har endelig skiftet min smadrede, jailbreakede 3G’er ud og føler mig nærmest lidt nyforelsket. #firmajulegaventilåretsmedarbejder
9 Dec
tambourinesam tambourine sam
Auto-correct retter “wacom board” til “escortpige”? Godt at jeg lige opdagede dét, før jeg sendte ønskelisten til mine forældre.
9 Dec
boetter Jacob Bøtter
Did you know? 11% of the world’s population is now on Facebook. That’s 800+ million monthly users.
9 Dec
Per_Vers Per Vers
I denne juleferie vil se ALLE disse dokumentarer. En VILD liste som jeg opsnappede fra mr. @pstq - tack grabban!! tl.gd/ejudvf
8 Dec
tveskov Bjarne P Tveskov
anbefaler @dseneste s julefølgeton: “Historien om internet” dseneste.dk/index.php/hist…
8 Dec
madsbrynnum mads brynnum
Ser i Ud & se at Harry er død. Det virker lidt voldsomt, DSB, kunne I ikke bare fyre ham?
8 Dec
iamdanw Dan Williams
“1 new interaction”. Thanks twitter UI, you really get humans.
7 Dec
solberg Kristoffer Solberg
I gave @marks +K about Puppies on @klout klout.com/user/marks/top…
7 Dec
kerns kerns
Marketed to busy Norwegians as the “Twin Dog”, but known to locals as the “double barrel”. pic.twitter.com/ez70Aovr
7 Dec
unclegrey Anders Graae
I går, lavede jeg kød-krybbe til aftensmad… #AEBMB #kød #sjovmad cc @goerlitz pic.twitter.com/rnUSmBTu
6 Dec
mikker Mikkel Malmberg
Er ved at skrive et show kun om konserves, så jeg er klar til at blive den sjoveste mand i Atombunkeren.
5 Dec
genmon Matt Webb
Hey, so I asked A to marry me and she said yes. How about that :-)
29 Nov
agentdero R. Tyler Croy
LinkedIn is pokemon for adults.
29 Nov
incanus77 Justin Miller
Man, incriminating as hell: imgur.com/gallery/W2Y5u
28 Nov
madsbrynnum mads brynnum
Hold lige på den Cavling et øjeblik - Radioavisen har netop spurgt en mand på Ærø-færgen om de fik spist alle pomfritterne. Og det gjorde de
28 Nov
siracusa John Siracusa
My 4-year-old daughter’s first typeface review: “If you turn the ‘G’ the other way it looks like a lowercase ‘e’”
28 Nov
mikker Mikkel Malmberg
Æbleskiver på 7eleven! Make it happen people.
27 Nov
Cennydd Cennydd Bowles
Today is a good day to wipe your Instapaper backlog. Do it. You’ll feel happier.
26 Nov
cdixon chris dixon
I wish Walter Isaacson would release all his interview transcripts to the public. Best parts of the book were when he just quoted them.
25 Nov
PellePeter Pelle Peter Jensen
Odd Future bruger Jes Dorph i deres merch! International Player!!!! skreened.com/theoddfuture/g…
25 Nov
tambourinesam tambourine sam
Hvordan kan “hahaha” nogensinde blive til “hashhandel”? Fulgte der en Nørrebro-ordbog med den nye softwareopdatering eller hvad? #sorrymor
25 Nov
sloganeerist JT D
Pro Tip: In cocktails that call for soda water, sub champagne. It adds a layer of depth, but otherwise there’s ni othor diffa;sjvlKm]vBvomit
24 Nov
Wendelboe Benjamin A Wendelboe
Vidste du at man på den franske tastaturer skal holde shift nede for at taste et punktum? Hvad siger det om franskmænd? #funfact
23 Nov
rune_ha Rune Ha
Drømmer stadig om Tom Waits på Orange kl.2 lørdag nat i PISØSENDE REGNVEJR! #rf12 #thetrueorangefeeling
23 Nov
danoliver Dan Oliver
I think Google could draw a big cock and balls on its homepage and people would wax lyrical about it.
23 Nov
camlarsch CamillaLarsenSchmidt
Så lige en dame med sin iPad stå og læse på stationen. Hun overvejede at tage vanterne af, men valgte så at scrolle med næsen. :D Seriøst!
23 Nov
buck4itt Buck
I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho.
23 Nov
kherman kherman
I favor same-sex marriage only for Wolf Blitzer and Paul Wolfowitz so we can have Wolf Wolfowitz.
23 Nov
mortensax mortensax
Hvor er forretningshemmeligheder dog et forældet ord, specielt når vi taler kager med glasur.. #agnes
22 Nov
TimOfLegend Tim Schafer
Explaining to wife: When I take off my pants to play Zelda, it’s not a sexual thing. It’s about being 100% committed to the quest.
22 Nov
hotdogsladies Merlin Mann
I keep my coffeemaker in the car and my toilet paper in the attic. So, opening a separate iOS app for Googling is right in my wheelhouse.
21 Nov
mariaklinke Maria Klinke
6årig: Kan vi ikke blive muslimer lissom Hajira og hendes mor? Mig (overvejer): Tjooh.. Hvorfor? Maya: Fordi deres tøj glimrer, jo! #dulle
21 Nov
appoulsen Asbjørn Poulsen
Har totalt perfektioneret evnen til at putte et barn på nøjagtigt den tid en pause i en fodboldkamp varer.
21 Nov
trinetrine Trine Rahbek
En medpassager har lige uopfordret vist sin togbillet til mand i uniform. Muligvis kaptajn. Så fik hun lige spoleret resten af hans mandag.
21 Nov
pollas Anders Pollas
Found old notebook w/notes from some very clever, abstract course at uni. On the other side: Wireframes. #shouldveseenitcoming
19 Nov
aedison Avery Edison
Either I’m insane, or someone came into my apartment while I was sleeping and stole my sugar. Both great choices.
19 Nov
drinkerthinker Elizabeth Galle
J: “What does @beep think about Bach?” me: “Not sure - is that a new web framework?” J: “Uh, no, he’s a composer.”
17 Nov
chockenberry Craig Hockenberry
HP’s next move is to copy the Mac Book Air and name it Resentment.
17 Nov
cdixon chris dixon
With PIPA and SOPA added to existing problems like patent trolls, startups in a few years are going to need as many lawyers as programmers.
16 Nov
bering Christian Bering
Singing: “I was gonna write a blog-post (about 6 months at Accenture), but then I got high(ly busy with work)”
16 Nov
pressfuturist alastair horne
Whenever an audiobook begins with “This is Audible”, I wonder whether a voice I can’t hear announces “and this is inaudible”.
15 Nov
rankenberg Susanna Rankenberg
Hvor kunne det dog være fedt bare at afbryde Clement Kjærsgaard. 20 gange i træk. Og hver gang hans sagde noget, så sige “BEB!BEB!BEB!”
13 Nov
jeppeengell Jeppe Engell
Alle, jeg gentager, alle som har en Iphone burde sende følgende kort til deres kærester/mænd/koner etsy.me/rUspUq
13 Nov
AmyJane Amy Jane Gruber
Crossing the street with Jonas. A car honks at us. I reflexively flip the bird. When I look up, it’s a parent from school, waving. Damn.
13 Nov
aedison Avery Edison
I learned English from my mother, so forgive me if I get a word wrong, or withhold affection.
12 Nov
aslak_gatas Aslak Borgersrud
Jeg ba telefonen, representert ved Siri, ringe min kone. Siri svarte, høyt og klart “Which one? You have 21”. Min kone var i rommet. #FML
12 Nov
badbanana Tim Siedell
The best things in life are free. Like taking candy from a baby.
11 Nov
bijan Bijan Sabet
Lady asks for my profession at dr office. I said “venture capitalist”. She wrote “adventure capitalist”. I’m good with that.
11 Nov
martinthimes Martin Thimes
Jeg hælder benzin på de gamle diskjockeys’ “de unge er uduelige”-bål ved at spille plader på @dinnyeven i aften. Og jeg kan ikke mixe. HAHA!
11 Nov
appoulsen Asbjørn Poulsen
1111111112, argh, pis os!
11 Nov
erlendloe Erlend Loe
Favoritttilbakemeldingen min i Windows Live Mail er: “Det har oppstått en ukjent feil”. Noe stemmer ikke, men ingen aner hva.
9 Nov
kissane erin kissane
If any of you have *not* read @Pinboard’s glorious takedown of the “social graph,” this is your chance. !important bit.ly/t7xWMC
9 Nov
eplekjekk Andréa
Uansett hvor kul du er, kommer det alltid til å være en pen jente med dristig profilbilde som får flere retweets når hun rapper tweeten din.
9 Nov
mattgemmell Matt Gemmell
iOS apps that are just webviews = your psychotic website murdered an innocent app and is now wearing its skin like a suit.
9 Nov
grapefrugten Ricki Mae Melchior
Changed my mail signature to ‘Sent from my white iPhone’, just so people can see how motherfucking BLANG I am!
9 Nov
laramulady Lara Mulady
“Credit card companies can predict with 98% accuracy when couples will divorce based on spending patterns alone.” @unwiredchris #komdag
9 Nov
siracusa John Siracusa
Cross-page highlights are apparently the Manhattan Project of ebook readers.
9 Nov
pm Paul
“Million dollar idea! A restaurant with tasty food, great environment, exceptional design. Now you do the execution. I’m an ‘idea person’”
8 Nov
Wikipedia Wikipedia
@SteveMartinToGo Please stop editing your Wikipedia page to say “best hair in the history of the world.” Need NPOV ur1.ca/5ogfq
7 Nov
kerns kerns
@krautwald You are the M.C. Escher of e-commerce.
7 Nov
kimelmose Kim Elmose
Min 11-årige drenge ser for mange reklamer på tv: Afslutter lektielæsning med ordene “Så er min lektier ordnet. That calls for a Carlsberg!”
7 Nov
danbenjamin Dan Benjamin
The boy (4), staring at a plate of 4 burgers: “I’ll be a football player if I eat all of these!”
4 Nov
KaareSorensen Kaare Sørensen
Journalisterne brokker sig (….kærligt) til spindoktorerne: Der var kaffe under den blå regering. Så nu får vi kaffe #dkpol
4 Nov
carlbildt Carl Bildt
If I remember right, the word “drama” is of Greek origin.
3 Nov
joshmillard Josh Millard
Life is short. Call someone you love and tell them that butts are lol.
3 Nov
galimathies Mathies B. Jespersen
Jeg dømmer dig på forhånd, søde kursusdeltager med sokker i sandalerne (på hænderne).
3 Nov
jonassmith Jonas Heide Smith
Sgu hyggeligt sådan at læse Steve Jobs-biografi i sync med så mange af jer. Lidt som at se tv i 80erne. #monokultur #gamledage
3 Nov
davepell Dave Pell
My shrink and I spend about half our time talking about the NFL. Neither one of us wants to talk about my problems anymore.
2 Nov
chockenberry Craig Hockenberry
The good news is that Google found a way to beta test an app with more than 100 devices.
2 Nov
davehayden Dave Hayden
Here we go. A song a day, in collaboration with @Horse_ebooks: nanoukemo.tumblr.com
2 Nov
flyosity Mike Rundle
I can’t stand this trend of dumping HTML views into a nav controller and calling it an iPhone app. It’s not. It’s a clunky pile of shit.
2 Nov
rankenberg Susanna Rankenberg
OH: “Vi kravlede over hegnet til zoo klokken-keld-og-dirch-lukketid og jeg overvejede seriøst at bøffe en pingvin.” #kolleger
2 Nov
jonasjuhler Jonas Juhler Hansen
1. Tag din (stavenazi) kærestes iphone, 2. Opret følgende genveje, 3. LOL, U MAD? pic.twitter.com/soX1Cxmt
2 Nov
Eris Eris Stassi
When you think about it, the Bat Signal was probably the first cloud-based push notification.
31 Oct
lars Lars Ettrup
#wordfeuddk -lars fuckoff from my stream ordkrig.ffdk.dk
28 Oct
DrExcitement Steve
Thanks for telling me to “like” you on Facebook, because I was running out of ideas on how to advertise for you, for free, to my friends.
28 Oct
khoi Khoi Vinh
Excellent, must-see visualization of Android fragmentation. j.mp/sHbAzH
27 Oct
mikkelnoewesth Mikkel Noe Westh
At aflevere et stort tilbud er som at løbe mod mål, lukke øjnene og fyre til bolden, gå hjem og efter en uge høre om man scorede
26 Oct
stevenf Steven Frank
Wow I am bad at Battlefield 3. Poets will weave tales of how bad I am at Battlefield 3 for generations to come. My badness defies credulity.
26 Oct
shelbyfero shelby fero
“WHERE MY LADIES AT?!” - man that has misplaced all his ladies
26 Oct
willhacker Will Hacker
I was reminded again today that sitting with the people who use your products is an eye-opening experience. Do it and do it often.
26 Oct
fagerlund Jesper Fagerlund
Ingen forstod albummet fra @kashmirofficial dengang i ‘79. Men det fik senere sin fortjente succes. #Spotify twitpic.com/75l8qp
25 Oct
rune_ha Rune Ha
Har aldrig været i Sovjetunionen men kommer tit i Fakta ved Borups Plads.
24 Oct
infonauten Ulf Reese Næsborg
Forslag til nyt slogan: “Spotify - fordi selv om du forestiller dig det værste, så er dine FB-venners musiksmag VÆRRE end du tror”.
23 Oct
Claus Claus Dahl
I think Apple really missed an opportunity when they didn’t name Siri sudo
23 Oct
hotdogsladies Merlin Mann
I’m lucky to be one of those people who only needs two hours of sleep to brain brain no thinkee ow head make bang bang bad ow what now?
22 Oct
Drake Drizzy
Haaa everytime I do more than one tweet people keep telling me I must be drunk…I won’t lie Gin and Tonics have me feeling righteous.
22 Oct
mrgan Neven Mrgan
@mathowie A guy in a class I took brought his “famous” BBQ-chicken-peanut-butter “pizza” to the potluck. It tasted like Warcraft.
21 Oct
anildash Anil Dash
People always ask “Why won’t MTV play videos?” “Why won’t CNN cover news?” Just go to YouTube or Google News! TV is not that into you.
21 Oct
gruber John Gruber
If your web server can detect a mobile browser and redirect from regular to mobile-optimized URL, it should be able to do the opposite.
21 Oct
StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
M-C Hammer is launching his own search engine! I hope it’s more successful than Yahoo-Tang Clan.
21 Oct
beep Ethan Marcotte
Dear all sites that allow me to have multiple accounts, Let me sign into multiple accounts. It is the future now. Asimovian kisses, - E
21 Oct
monggaard Christian Monggaard
Åh nej, min datter er blevet vegetar igen.
21 Oct
JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson
Annie was an orphan because she was a filthy, disgusting, ginger child who wouldn’t stop singing.
21 Oct
mrgan Neven Mrgan
Thanks to the sensibilities of the Japanese people, my phone comes preloaded with an image of a cute, smiling turd. Thanks!
19 Oct
bhc3 Hutch Carpenter
Asking ROI for an idea too early is like asking value of a baby. “It can’t walk, talk, what good is it?” - @RowanGibson #bei11
18 Oct
SMSerup Søs Marie Serup
Kan forstå omegnskommuner til KBH melder sig på stribe rundt om betalingsringen…super branding at være kendt som “parkeringspladsen”!
18 Oct
rune_guldbrand Rune Guldbrand
Wow @kerns this sounds exactly like you. youtu.be/Vt4Dfa4fOEY
18 Oct
RiccoWichmann Ricco Wichmann
Ingen…INGEN siger “Jeg Yellower” og jeg røvmyrder reklamen, der får mig til at skrive dette.
17 Oct
biorhythmist matt
I named my butt hole Kevin. He says hi.
17 Oct
mikebodge Mike Bodge
Love looking over the shoulder of someone intensely drawing in their sketchbook and seeing something a retarded blind person would make.
15 Oct
gordonshumway Jelisa Castrodale
Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, DO YOU THINK I’M PRETTY? LET’S GET MAAAAAARRIED TONIGHT! WHY NOT? WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?
15 Oct
mashup Mikkel Westerkam
har købt ind i Netto. De har vildt mange ting og lader til at være billigere end Statoil.
13 Oct
gruber John Gruber
Good news for Samsung: when they get sued for ripping off Siri, they can cite ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ for prior art again.
13 Oct
AmyJane Amy Jane Gruber
“How many days until your site goes back to regular gray?” “It depends how long it takes my heart to heal.”
13 Oct
sween Jason Sweeney
The screen on my wife’s iPad is so dirty I replaced it with a bowl of hummus and she hasn’t noticed and now she won’t give me a turn.
12 Oct
aedison Avery Edison
Been told to make my humor more relatable. Don’t you just hate it when a cute guy is asking you out but you’re a pre-op transgender lesbian?
12 Oct
gordonshumway Jelisa Castrodale
Wow @dunkindonuts serves their coffee hot. My tongue wouldn’t have melted like this if it looked at the Ark of the Covenant.
12 Oct
waxpancake Andy Baio
Holy crap! One million people have backed @kickstarter projects, to the tune of over $100M. Huge infoporn dump: kickstarter.com/blog/one-milli…
11 Oct
fraying Derek Powazek
Every successful site had a predecessor that did almost the same thing. Sometimes it’s about timing/luck.
11 Oct
stuntbox David Sleight
“Siri, make me a sandwich.” Meanwhile, at the other end of the couch… “Why did your phone text me to make it a sandwich?”
7 Oct
nielsfez Niels Pedersen
Thor Möger - kunne godt fungere som navn på et black metal-band.
6 Oct
rorybremner Rory Bremner
After ‘a lot of prayer’ Sarah Palin’s decided not to run for President. Good Call, God.
6 Oct
Justyn Justyn Howard
I don’t know who to credit this image to, but I love it #stevejobs yfrog.com/hw93ip
6 Oct
asymco Horace Dediu
Does Tim look a bit thin?
4 Oct
golgolli Golli Hash
I want a kitty and I want to name the kitty Axure.
4 Oct
mcchristiansen michael christiansen
i en dekade har vores land udadtil været synonymt med fremmedhad… nu synes folk så det er mega pinligt, at villy taler dårligt engelsk.
4 Oct
lauaaen Lau Aaen
En selvproklameret liberal reg. træder tilbage, og straks bliver knivlov, pointsystem, iværksætter- og multimedieskat afskaffet. #dkpol
3 Oct
fagerlund Jesper Fagerlund
Ren fornøjelse på DR Update at se @vestager tage foto, skrive tekst og så popper tweetet lige op bagefter. Ingen spindoktorer her. Hand on!
3 Oct
AmyJane Amy Jane Gruber
I’m wearing a hooded dress. “Mama, you look like Palpatine.” I glare at him. “Well, if Palpatine was a nice pretty lady.” Good save, kid.
2 Oct
moot moot
8 years of 4chan. The things my eyes have seen.
1 Oct
fagerlund Jesper Fagerlund
På Gladsaxe Bib kan du tilmelde dig klubben. Men se det sidste felt. Elsker dig Internet! twitpic.com/6sqg7i #forms #webdesign
30 Sep
hotdogsladies Merlin Mann
I kid. I realize newspapers still have Editors. I mean *somebody* has to run things when the SEO guys go to lunch.
29 Sep
rune_ha Rune Ha
Tak for alle de fine tilkendegivelser. Næste uge ryger Forum og om 14 dage Ballerup Super Arena #enpyromansbekendelser
28 Sep
Kahrzdn Carsten Jørgensen
“@vestager: Folkeaktie købt!” makrel: OK makrel > tweet: Ikke OK uden disclaimer
7 Mar
erlendloe Erlend Loe
Fikk nettopp 25 bokser med Makrell i tomat salsa levert på døra, tydeligvis som en hyggelig gestus fra Stabbur… (cont) http://deck.ly/~xPKRR
7 Mar
MattGourley Matt Gourley
This burrito is so good it’s being played by Colin Firth.
7 Mar
louisck Louis C.K.
Why did the 4 babies get thrown out of the bar? Cause they’re just 4 stupid fucking little babies. Shitty fucking babies.
5 Mar
clint Clint Ecker
I have decided that @CharlieSheen has #trollblood running thru his veins in addition to #tigerblood
3 Mar
mortenjust Morten Just
Phone URL is now open source. Hoping people will join me in getting rid of phone numbers code.google.com/p/phone-url/
3 Mar
sockington Sockamillion
HEY @CHARLIESHEEN GREAT TO HAVE YOU JOIN THE ONE MILLION FOLLOWER CLUB AND hey wait a minute where’s my catnip stash COME ON CHARLIE
3 Mar
kerns kerns
…begs the question, why isn’t Apple working harder to cure Autism? #ipad2
2 Mar
jeppeengell Jeppe Engell
Hvem twitter for @Kforum - man kan ikke finde mere amatør agtige twits end deres og lige netop folk fra det site burde vide bedre!
2 Mar
jespernr Jesper N. Rasmussen
OH på ChrHavn: Han har et underligt ansigt og så hedder han vist Laurent eller noget - vi skal smadre ham! #ErDetDigSåPasPå #TæskeholdPåVej
1 Mar
SteveMartinToGo Steve Martin
Piers Morgan to Charlie Sheen: “You were taking Cocaine…” Charlie Sheen: “I wasn’t taking it. I had to pay for it.”
1 Mar
guan Guan Yang
{placekitten} http://1e6.us/pE
28 Feb
sloganeerist JT D
“I WILL NOT CHANGE ONE SINGLE THING!!!” -Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, sounding exactly like me, except one of us is talking about brochure copy
26 Feb
informerfolk FOLK
Kong Abdullah har kastet 190 mia. i grams til folket for at holde sig på tronen. Lignende flotteri er ikke set siden Anders Fogh var statsm.
24 Feb
informerfolk FOLK
Det ulmende oprør i MØ spreder sig nu til andre dele af verden. I dag demonstrerer de i Viborg mod kæmpebesparelser på sygehusene i regionen
23 Feb
appoulsen Asbjørn Poulsen
Sønnen er voldsomt skuffet over ikke at være blevet gul efter at have spist boller i karry…
20 Feb
VeryShortStory Very Short Story
I paid the fee & opened the door to my fantasy. There you were alive again. I soaked in the 15 minutes I could afford from selling our house
18 Feb
clarkekant Clarke Kant
Come on, Twitter. Get to the point.
17 Feb
jkottke Jason Kottke
Explaining what a logo is to a three-year-old is difficult.
17 Feb
iconfinder IconFinder
My new wallpaper: i.imgur.com/KnyNC.jpg
16 Feb
MisterPrankster MisterPrankster
Know those people going the other way when you’re going to work? They go to your place & sleep in your bed. Happening for years. Surprise!
16 Feb
biorhythmist matt
I like my coffee like I like my used condoms I found in the bathroom trash three years after dad’s vasectomy, mom?
13 Feb
rune_ha Rune Ha
RCRD LBL er stadig min trofaste musikblog. Hvad er din? #blogcheck http://rcrdlbl.com/
10 Feb
ToneStangeland Tone Stangeland
Playboy har en egen utgave for gifte menn. Den har den samme modellen måned etter måned etter måned…
10 Feb
Claus Claus Dahl
Har I tænkt på hvordan 1980-danskeren ville forstå sætningen “Bøger i tabletform”? #braincandy
8 Feb
alaindebotton Alain de Botton
Insomnia is a glamorous term for ‘thoughts you forgot to have in the day.’
8 Feb
YeahImAshley Ashley
Who the hell did Semicolon sleep with to get on the home row?
8 Feb
michael_J_m00n Space Cowman
Roses are red, and cost fifty bucks. So for Valantine’s day, make sure that she fucks.
8 Feb
Per_Vers Per Vers
Fuck hvor er jeg bagefter alle deadlines… men jeg blir jo NØDT til at se denne 40 mins dokumentar om J DILLA: http://thejdillaproject.com
7 Feb
ddockett DARNELL DOCKETT
They need to take jerry springer off TV! Cuz I swear this this some true FUCKERY at its BEST!
7 Feb
mikkelgruner Mikkel Grüner
“Mange innvandrere er dessverre ikke rustet til å møte den norske bakterieflora. Derfor vil vi i FrP innføre spytting på innvandrere.”
7 Feb
mattgemmell Matt Gemmell
Us: “We like PlayStations, and phones!” Sony: “Behold: PlayStation Phone!” Us: “We also like toast!” Sony: “Behold: ToastStation Phone!”
7 Feb
annebitsch Anne Bitsch
Noen bedre ord enn “intimfrisering” som samlebetegnelse for både hårfjerning, barbering og trimming av kjønnshår? Jeg spør jobbrelatert. :)
4 Feb
Claus Claus Dahl
.@mortenjust har lige vist mig det fedeste website jeg har set i et stykke tid: http://www.mta.me
3 Feb
Per_Vers Per Vers
Efter at have set doku om norsk black metal er jeg kun sikker på én ting. Varg Vikenes aka Greven aka Count Grishnack ligner @supertroels.
2 Feb
davidfg David Gallagher
Playing with this new iPad app for crowdsourcing the DJing at a party. It’s got potential. And physics. Tune Drop: http://bit.ly/ekV2x6
2 Feb
leisa Leisa Reichelt
If I can tell your site is run on Drupal (without you telling me), your designer isn’t finished yet.
2 Feb
gordonshumway Jelisa Castrodale
Crest Whitestrips: A Play in 3 Acts 1) They’re not whiter yet. 2) Nothing yet. 3) Not ye- OWTHEBURNINGSWEETCHRISTTHEBURNINGMAKEITSTOP ~fin~
2 Feb
Elnif Didde Elnif
Hyggeligt at blive vækket af småfuld fling kl 6… Ærgerligt, han ringede på forkert dør (min) to gange før han forhåbentlig fandt “Malene”
2 Feb
UncleDynamite Uncle Dynamite
You have really nice teeth. Strong. Like monkey teeth. #worstpickuplines
2 Feb
bobearth Bob (Tim) Earth
I think someone accidentally set the Sim City preferences for Queensland to “expert.”
2 Feb
ddockett DARNELL DOCKETT
Damn I can’t sleep! Time change is crazy! Who up? I wonder if krispy kreme open?
1 Feb
thesulk Alec Sulkin
Hey, thanks for making sure “Nazi” is capitalized, iPhone. Way to honor them.
30 Jan
biorhythmist matt
What’s up? (I have *no* sense of direction!)
29 Jan
ddockett DARNELL DOCKETT
Damn I said I will not drink another mai tai and now look at me!! this big girl next to be looking like J-LO with a spanx!! FML! I’m done!
29 Jan
gruber John Gruber
I weigh myself before applying deodorant.
29 Jan
ddockett DARNELL DOCKETT
My SON told me when he does show& tell next week N school its over cuz No1 can. Do it better! Adrian. Peterson http://plixi.com/p/73197592
29 Jan
whitehouse The White House
President Obama on the phone with President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt in the Oval Office, VP Biden listens http://twitpic.com/3ubl1u
29 Jan
textfiles Jason Scott
attention shmoocon attendees: I am bringing a copy of geocities that I can dupe onto your 750gb drive.
28 Jan
ddockett DARNELL DOCKETT
My crackhead uncle name peanut keep calling me talking bout they got lawn mowers/and Tvs for sale and he can ship them to hawaii! FML!
28 Jan
mariaklinke Maria Klinke
Mine medpassagerer i s-toget glor på mig så man skulle tro de aldrig har set en pige spise koriander direkte fra posen før. Weirdos!
27 Jan
mikkelmarius Mikkel Marius W.
Beklager, @berlingske, men jeg må ud med det her. http://plixi.com/p/72640085
26 Jan
kanyewest Kanye West
WE DROPPING NEW MUSIC CAUSE IT’S OUR FUCKING JOB! THIS WHAT WE HERE TO DO! WE THE NEW STONES WE THE NEW BEATLES!
26 Jan
danbenjamin Dan Benjamin
“Daddy, when you die you are just bones in the desert.”
26 Jan
annebitsch Anne Bitsch
Jeg skjønner ikke hvordan det skal være *mulig* å ikke kunne steke en ferdigpizza greit.
26 Jan
Kahrzdn Carsten Jørgensen
@tveskov En motorvej, egen iPhone-app og en koncerthal til musikere der toppede for 20 år siden, SÅ vil alle flytte til kommunen.
26 Jan
tveskov Bjarne P Tveskov
“Vores egenudviklede unikke app giver borgerne en helt ny samlet, oplevelsesorienteret indgang til SydDjurs kommune” #2012 #DerUntergang
26 Jan
Mike_FTW Mike Monteiro
@anildash I see your bagel and raise you pretty girls in sundresses. Pretty sure they’re girls.
26 Jan
anildash Anil Dash
@Mike_FTW I’m having a bagel, and later I will get on a functioning mass transit system. Good morning to you!
26 Jan
pollas Anders Pollas
Skidt, skidt takeaway-folder-placering: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pollas/5387656466/ #riget
25 Jan
kristygee Kristy Grant
It’s not a “nervous breakdown.” I’m just happier under the bed so I’m staying forever.
25 Jan
schwa Jonathan Wight
After days of “why did Apple do it like that? I can do better”, I realize I’ve learnt why they did it like that and will do it the same way.
25 Jan
ConanOBrien Conan O’Brien
Remember what I tweeted back in August? “I’m picking the Packers and Steelers for Super Bowl XLV.” Too bad there’s no way to prove it.
25 Jan
MikeVick Mike Vick
No homework for you ! RT @kahuna531: @MikeVick my teacher says if u tweet back then no homework today. Come on mike help my class out.
24 Jan
Moltz Moltz
In the ski lodge. A little girl just taught Hank to dip his fries into his cocoa. I think he’s going to marry her.
24 Jan
JaneMejdahl JaneMejdahl
@marks Remoulade bliver også kaldet “jydepesto”
21 Jan
jessamyn jessamyn west
I am growing an avocado tree. Which is to say, I ate an avocado yesterday and I still have high hopes for this project today. #winter
19 Jan
Paxochka Pax Paxochka
Handy survival tip for the workplace #3 Fill your coffee pot with Guinness.
17 Jan
IdaAuken Ida Auken
Har fået en lille søn i torsdags. Vidste ikke, man blev SÅ lykkelig af det!
17 Jan
ulotrichous eli neiburger
“Is this C3PO?” Oh iPhoto, you just made my day. Cameo by @ADaniels3PO. http://twitpic.com/3qc4i9
15 Jan
jacobpackert Jacob Packert
Københavns Politi foreslår at man gør det konservative gruppeværelse til visitationszone, da mange mistænkes for at gå med dolk. I ryggen.
13 Jan
hodgman hodgman
O @TheTweetOfGod, I am not aware of such an app. But I can tell you that “Plants vs. Zombies” is basically Revelations. You should sue.
11 Jan
mikkelmarius Mikkel Marius W.
Politiken burde lave et bilmagasin og kalde det Berlinko.
11 Jan
shawnries Shawn Ries
“I don’t know, guys, I think there can be at least some diggity.” -Guy about to get kicked out of Blackstreet
10 Jan
notch Markus Persson
There’s are men with tools in the Mojang office, tearing at the floor. These are manly men. I feel boyish, with my keyboard and my irony.
10 Jan
Elnif Didde Elnif
Stopper m at bage brød. Stopper m at tweete om brød. Har opnået fuldkommen valnøddebrøds-perfektion. Det var det http://yfrog.com/h3z7dgj
8 Jan
sween Jason Sweeney
Just had a very thorough pat-down by a TSA agent. Now he wants to talk about my feelings, but I’m soooo sleepy.
7 Jan
madsbrynnum mads brynnum
Synes alle partier bør ha en slagsang. Ved bare ikke hvad LA kan få til at rime på “hvis du dør tidligt er det din egen skyld, taber” #dkpol
6 Jan
marks Mark Jensen
OH: “En jeg kender har fået en hest med et hagekors på i julegave.”
6 Jan
Claus Claus Dahl
Som trofast top 200 follower på mange lister, åbenbart, vil jeg gerne sige til mine followees: You suck.
6 Jan
Mkkl Mikkel M. Henriksen
My top follower in 2010 was a creepy drunk guy who ran after me on the way home from a bar one night.
6 Jan
arne Arne Fismen
Jeg har ikke vært en fan av Angry Birds for iPhone, men Blackberry varianten ser hot ut: http://i.imgur.com/NPdnw.jpg
5 Jan
Per_Vers Per Vers
En Kort, Og En Mere Der Osse Er Kort. #lessambitiousmovies
5 Jan
kanyewest Kanye West
Fur Coats and shit
1 Jan
jkottke Jason Kottke
When Picard says “Fire at Will”, does he realize that Riker’s standing right there? Awkward!
1 Jan
